Feeling Better | ivorythorns's Blog

I just got back from desert Hot Springs, I did some serious deep thinking about who I am and who I want to be. Thought I'd share a bit since this has become sort of a venting place for me and that is something I wanted to change.  I want to be the girl that I was when I didn't let my family control me, slowly over the years I've been doing that but I'm not quite free yet.  I realized just recently that I was the only one fighting truly fighting to maintain a relationship with them- it was all give and no take.  I realized after my last pathetic attempt at a romantic relationship  that my need to simply give in nearly cost me the few precious friends that I do have.  I need to lay down lines for myself, I need to stop allowing people to cross the lines that I do set up, I've learned that if a person truly loves you then they won't try to change you.  I'm not perfect, I cry, I get furious, I want to run for miles and miles, I love a good thunderstorm, I'm not scared of the dark and I've faced death with open eyes.  I love to dance randomly and sing off key or on key, I love roller coasters and laugh deeply and whole heartily when I get the chance, I love to see my friends and even my enemies happy- an believe it or not this isn't a creigs list ad- lol.  The point is that my most recent challenges which I've set for myself are finally for me.  I made a promise once to protect a certain person and to keep her happy no matter what, but she is happy now, she has found her place in the world, she has found someone who can take my place and make her happy- now it's my turn.

2013- unlucky number lol, I was born on the 13th eat that fate!

Happy (belated) new year!